I was matched with Bachelor #1 at some time in late October while I was testing out the waters during the free trial. He passed my criteria of decent looking and intriguing profile info, so I decided not to dismiss him as an option. Shortly after I received an email informing me that he had requested "fast track" and I accepted, thoroughly complimented by the quick response. After a couple of awkward and short eHarmony communications, he sought to chat via email due to the fact he "hated logging on to the eHarmony website because the picture of the couple thoroughly irritated him". I thought he was funny.
Background on B#1:
- 27 years old
- English teacher and writer (later discovered that he was a teaching assistant and now earns his living instead by writing for a college football website)
- lives relatively close to me, no roommates.
First date:
- He suggests a local restaurant/bar in my neighborhood (I live in a widely recognized gay area of town; a detail that will later come into play) called Wilde, an Irish pub which I figured he chose due to the fact it was within walking distance from me.
- It was miserable weather; I'm talking hail, snow, winds - everything you'd expect from a Chicago winter storm. That said, I was not surprised when the restaurant was completely empty - save one man with a hat on, sitting at the bar alone. (He had told me I'd be able to recognize him because he'd be wearing a hat. Not some suave hat, a normal ski hat to "hide his recent bad haircut" but figure more likely premature balding. Which I have no problem with, just own up to it.)
- We sat at the bar and chatted over a couple of beers and it was nice getting to know about his job and his family. There were some things that immediately pushed my irritated buttons like the fact he was a germaphobe, and washed his hands several times throughout our date (before the spinach dip, after the spinach dip, and another time that I'll chock up to a legit bathroom necessity). A second was that he constantly was fiddling with his man-ring that was both too large in size and located on his thumb.
- Just when I began to feel less nervous and thought "this isn't so bad," the date quickly took a turn for the worst. Our John Gosslin-look a like bartender, clearly bored from the slow night, had engaged my date after overhearing something about him being a writer. The two of them hit it off better than me and him. Topics of discussion included writing, which led to scripts, which lead to television shows. This may not have bothered me as much as it did, however the shows which B#1 showed the most enthusiasm for was Dawson's Creek and Gossip Girl (where I discovered that this guy had actually come up with the idea and wrote several episodes prior to the WB).
- I know I wasn't imagining this because I clearly recall the faces that I made with the progression of their conversation. Seeing my reflection in the bar mirror, I do not see how this bartender did not realize that he was encroaching on my game - he had to have known. Also, gay bartenders tend not to approach single straight men. What was I thinking. I will give B#1 some credit, like a good gentleman, he offered to walk me home. Three blocks and some slight frostbite later, a quick hug and cheek kiss ended my first ever first date.
Second Date:
- Despite that erking "he's a homo but doesn't know it" feelings I was having, I accepted B#1's request for a second date. I mean, hey, I'm in the dating game - if I don't go on dates, how I am supposed to gain experience. And I didn't know for sure that he was gay, he seemed to be into me most of the night, and he asked for a second date. What can I say, I'm willing to give a guy a chance if he shows the effort and determination.
- We plan to meet at the movie theater to see Up in the Air, curiously selected by him - a George Clooney fan I should have figured, but nonetheless the best option at the time. It was lesson in awkward experiences to say the least. I recognized him no problem, same hat same attractive bright blue eyes.
- Next stop, the concession stand. We had been playing a guessing game as to which movie-snack was our favorite, he was guessing candies all over the place (even though I had mentioned how I do not enjoy sweets, but was proud that I've never had a cavity for about 10 minutes on our first date). The answer is popcorn, if you were wondering. Which made for an interesting waiting game in the line. I suggest we split a drink if he was ordering Dots (which I can't stand, bad texture, pure sugar) as well as offered to split the tab - which was more expensive than our tickets that I purchased online prior to the movie. He agreed upon the condition that we get two straws - ugh, I hate germaphobes. How does he expect to kiss me if he won't even share a straw...anyway. I was genuinely surprised when he didn't run off to wash his hands in the bathroom prior to the show.
- After the movie we headed across the street to a nice little wine bar, but he quickly suggested the dive bar a few doors down due to the fact he was underdressed (maybe he just didnt want to take off his hat?). I obliged, never turning down a free drink, and I was curious to talk a little more with him as there was no connecting during the movie (not as much as a whisper). Nothing interesting enough to even write about happened at this one-beer only rendezvous. Except the fact I discovered he didn't know how to swim, that was third strike. What grown man doesn't know how to swim, I couldn't fathom.
- Bad got worse during our parting goodbye where I could tell he was just itching to swoop in for that second date goodnight kiss. I was antsy to actually get into my car once I had opened the door, but he pulled some awkward body block and grabbed my face with both hands before I could stop it all. I immediately pursed my lips as tight as they could manage while his cold fish mouth attacked mine. Thankful, he got the message and it was over before I had to iniate the polite push-off manuever. I hopped into my car, thanked him for the popcorn and beer, and never looked back.
I have not had any communication with Bachelor #1 since. The end.
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